Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
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