dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
