Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
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