you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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