Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
