I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
