Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
