He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
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