im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
