every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
