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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.

  (970): View more from Colorado

  Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?

  Fav 73 905 4296

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• (805): View more from California

  his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk

  Fav 101 950 14495

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.

  Fav 44 16312 2058

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  17 of the Dumbest Defenses Heard in Court

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• (605): View more from South Dakota

  Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...

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• (208): View more from Idaho

  drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.

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• (864): View more from South Carolina

  I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.

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• (785): View more from Kansas

  I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well

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• (720): View more from Colorado

  If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.

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  These 19 Ladies Love Pegging Their Men

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• (650): View more from California

  I've never known a porn star before

  (650): View more from California

  There's not even an emoji for this

  Fav 2 291 118

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.

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• (801): View more from Utah

  Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements

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• (406): View more from Montana

  All I want is dick and wine.

  Fav 1 71 14

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• (704): View more from North Carolina

  I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?

  Fav 0 31 2

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