I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
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