The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
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He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
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He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Apparently fireball doesn't mix well with my no carb diet
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.