Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.