you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
My pussy is not your playground.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Randomize
