Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Randomize
