What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
How did you make it to work sans hangover?
4 words: Clif Bar soaked in tequila. Just like albert pujols
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
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