called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
That accounts for only three of the penises
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
