My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
