Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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