I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
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