'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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