My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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