Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I will be naked everywhere
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
God I need to hump something, right now.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize