life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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