May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
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