How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
