Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
