you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
