I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
