Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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