My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
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