There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
