Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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