I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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