remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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