omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
it's too hot outside to masturbate.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
