i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
