i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
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Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
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I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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