Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize