Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
