Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
I am full of burrito and curiosity
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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