how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
you are never too drunk for berry picking
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
