this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Randomize
