what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
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I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..