I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
love makes seman taste better
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
