That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
