Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Randomize
