I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Randomize
