i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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