the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
me + whiskey = a bad person
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
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