Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
