That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
