i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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