I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
