You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
