Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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