I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
I came so hard my ears popped.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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