I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
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