69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
